The Day The World Went Insane
by Amicably Apathetic
Summary: When the world goes insane Shikamaru has to escape... He and the maid's outfit he's wearing... [Two Shot]
1. Part 1 The Beginning

A/N: Hi again! I'm finally writing this. Yes, I'm writing. Oh my god! Well, I had this in my head for a while now and said to myself that I'm gonna write this sometime and so here it is.

Disclaimer: Just one thing I'd like to say. You are reading this at right? 'Nuff said.

Key (for the people who actually need to know this)

"Stupid" -Speech

'Stupid' -Thoughts

(Stupid) -My notes

The Day the World Went Insane

It started as a normal day…

Shikamaru's eyes opened as he slowly rose out of bed, yawning lightly. At first he wasn't quite aware, but then he looked around realizing he wasn't in his bed. Or in his house even, for that matter. Heck, judging from looking outside of the barred window next to him, he wasn't even in Konoha for that matter.

Outside through the bars he saw a bunch of houses… and sand. He looked around the room seeing that it looked like a normal _girl's_ room… except for the bars… One thought rang through his mind, 'Crap…'

Just then he heard the door slam open and so his head snapped to the left to see who it was. He blinked, and then he blinked again. It was Temari! He gaped as Temari in turn just smiled hugely and started speaking very quickly, "Hiii!SorryIkidnappedyouandallbutIreally,reallyneededtotalktoyou!ImeanIheardsomegirl_talking_aboutyouandsayingsomethings…wellanywaysIknewthenIhadto saveyouandsoItookyouinyoursleeptohere!"

(A/N: This is what she said if you can't tell: "Hiii! Sorry I kidnapped you and all but I really, really needed to talk to you! I mean I heard some girl _talking_ about you and saying some things… Well anyways I knew then I had to save you and so I took you in your sleep to here!")

"…Umm… What were you doing in Konoha?" asked Shikamaru.

"Silly!MybrothersandIwerevisiting!...Actuallyitwasmyyoungerbrother'sidea…"

(A/N: "Silly! My brothers and I were visiting! …Actually it was my younger brother's idea…")

"…"

"Speakingofwhich!IneedtogocheckonGaarasoI'llberightback'k?"

(A/N: "Speaking of which! I need to go check on Gaara so I'll be right back 'k?")

"Sure…"

After Temari left Shikamaru just sat there dazed. What on earth was with Temari? He knew that he needed to escape the madness. He started to get out of the bed when he realized he was naked. He blushed furiously and quickly covered himself with the bed sheets.

He searched the room for some clothes. For the first drawer he blushed seeing it was filled with bras. He opened the second drawer only to blush seeing a whole lot of thongs. The third and final drawer unfortunately was bolted shut, covered with chains, and had a thumb print scanner. He sweat dropped thinking how that was a bit… excessive… Finally he checked the closet.

In the closet there were only two outfits. A full-body tight leather cat suit complete with black stiletto 6-inch high heel shoes and a dog collar reading "Property of Temari". The other outfit was a neon pink maid's outfit. The skirt ended about 3 inches above the knee and had lavender frills and a lavender heart on it and the shirt was sleeveless and had lavender buttons and again lavender frills. It also had matching neon pink gloves that ended mid-upper arm with a purple bow and had neon pink knee-length boots again with 6-inch stiletto heels.

Shikamaru just stood there in shock. _This_ was all she had! He gaped and finally sighed choosing to wear the maids outfit. At least it was looser.

He sighed after he finished putting it on and then slowly crept to the door. He checked to see if it was locked and sighed with relief, grateful that Temari hadn't locked it so he could now escape.

He peered out slowly into the corridor and after checking to see if anybody was there or coming, the lazy genius stepped out into the hall. He slowly started inching down the hall when he felt a hand on his shoulder and voice saying, "Excuse me miss? What are you doing up here?"

He gulped and turned around slowly to meet his fate, his mind struggling for a plan.

A/N: Cliffhanger! Woo! I actually decided I would make this a chapter fic. I got some ideas and I thought that splitting this up into chapters would make me write better and give me more time to think up of more ideas to tortur-ahem, I mean _help _Shikamaru. Muwahahaha… Sorry, I love Shikamaru, in fact he's my favorite character. He's so cool which makes it so fun to torment him. Sorry Shika… Yeah, and sorry this is so short, I promise I'll make the other chapters longer I just saw the potential cliffhanger and I was like 'Omg, that would make the perfect cliffhanger!' and then I just had to end it there.

Anyways, please send me your comments, questions, and (hopefully not) concerns in the form of reviews.

Praise is most welcome and flames will be used to roast flies. …I hate flies…


	2. Part 2 Surprise!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Britney Spears' song "Oops I Did It Again" thank God.

Warning: Extreme OOC'ness because this is a completely crack fic. It's meant to be absurd and funny so in case you haven't realized this yet and you don't like it, **turn back now **or be sucked into my swirling vortex of doom! Muwahahahaha!

Recap:_ He peered out slowly into the corridor and after checking to see if anybody was there or coming, the lazy genius stepped out into the hall. He slowly started inching down the hall when he felt a hand on his shoulder and voice saying, "Excuse me miss? What are you doing up here?"_

_He gulped and turned around slowly to meet his fate, his mind struggling for a plan._

Part 2 of two-shot: Surprise!

Shikamaru turned to see Naruto. 'Oh, it's just Naruto. …Wait. …Naruto?!' Shikamaru thought his eyes going wide. Naruto just smiled at Shika. As Shikamaru continued to look stunned though, he started waving his hand in front of Shikamaru's face saying, "Hello? Miss?" Finally he got tired of waving his hand and yelled, "HELLO?! ANYBODY HOME!" which finally snapped Shikamaru out of it.

Shikamaru stood there for a second thinking, '…Wait. Did he just call me miss?! …AH! My hair band broke! … I look like a girl? How troublesome… Guess I might as well go along with it then.'

Shikamaru finally answered, pretending to be shy and putting on his best imitation of a girl's voice, "U-um, uh… I'm sorry. I-I was just cleaning…"

Naruto made a funny look and Shika gulped, but then Naruto just grinned and made a sheepish face and said, "Oops, sorry about that! I thought they didn't have maids for this floor, but I guess I was wrong! Eheheh, you just keep going doing what you were doing then!" and then walked off behind Shika. He didn't move until he heard Naruto's footsteps were gone.

He sighed and turned around just the realizing it was just a hallway with doors. He assumed there were stairs behind one of those doors. Well, there were 5 doors besides the one he had just come out of so he had a 20 percent chance of getting the right door. Well, might as well just open each door.

He walked up to the door closest to him. He opened it, looking inside. Judging from all the fans, it was Temari's. The room had a bunch of fans, but that wasn't what was so disturbing about it. She had pictures of him… all over the walls. He walked inside and looked around.

What the hell… She had his first tooth! Ok, this was starting to creep him out.

All of a sudden he heard a noise coming from near the door. He groaned inwardly and jumped into the closet not wanting to be caught (or seen like this). He heard a person walk in. Oh god, it was Temari.

"Shika-chan! Where are you!"

Crud! She knew he was back! He silently moved further back into the closet and was so caught up in not being caught he didn't notice that a pair of cat ears was being placed onto his head from a string coming from the ceiling.

He waited for awhile waiting until she was gone. 5 minutes went by… 10 minutes went by… He started to doze when he heard Temari singing… very badly…

"I think I did it again!  
I made you believe.  
We're more than just friends."

…Oh, my, god…

He was going deaf. If it weren't for the fact that he was seriously scared by her right now he now he would have run away screaming (A/N: That'd be funny, Shikamaru running away screaming). So he resorted to twitching.

Twitch.

"Oh baby, baby

OOPS! I did it again!

I played with your heart, got lost in the game"

Twitch.

"Oh baby, baby  
Oops!...You think I'm in love  
That I'm sent from above  
I'm not that innocent"

**Big** twitch.

That's it, he was just gonna block it out until she's done. Um, Lee-san in a dress? Oh god, now that's gonna be there forever… Aaargh!

Shikamaru started grimacing so much at the thought that he didn't realize Temari had left until a while later.

-Meanwhile-

"Do you think this is a bit much?"

"…Nah."

-Back to Shika-

He finally realized that Temari was gone so he started searching for the closet door. Where was it? He didn't remember the closet being that big when he first got in here.

'Where is it? Oh there it is.' He opened the door and fell.

The room… now was black, had pictures of bugs, and had pictures of Shino in a dress…

Shika saw it and fainted, cat ears and all.

----:----

It was semi-dark around him. There was a couch, a TV, and some pictures of Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro so most likely it was the living room.

It looked normal, but something felt off. He glanced around, but found nothing so he decided to sit on the couch, tired.

…The couch giggled.

". . ."

"EEEEEK!!!" shrieked Shika, a bit jumpy after all that had happened that day.

He heard another giggle behind him so he turned around quickly, but went to fast and tripped and fell.

"Oww… Glad no one saw that…" he muttered to himself. But he wasn't so sure anymore. Those giggles had to come from _somewhere_.

"**SURPRISE!!!!!!!**"

"**GACK!!!**"

"…………"

"I think he's dead," said Naruto, breaking the silence.

"…Oops," replied Ino.

"I _told _you this April Fools joke was too much," said Temari, glancing at Shika before looking up and saying, "I had to sing a Brittney Spears song! That was scarring enough for me, let alone somebody who had to hear it."

"That's why we brought earplugs to block your awful voice," said Kankuro smirking.

"Hey! I don't sound that bad do I?"

"…….."

"Hey guys, he still isn't moving. I think we might've _actually_ killed him," said Chouji who had looked down again at his friend.

Silence…

And, panicking beginning… now.

"What are we gonna do! What are we gonna do!"

"I don't wanna go to jail and eat liver for the rest of my life!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-cough, cough, hack, wheeze-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

While in their panic they didn't see a twitch.

Shikamaru slowly got up and walked silently behind the group and said, "…Boo."

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**" came a chorus of screams as they fainted.

Shikamaru stood there and smirked.

It took a while, and had been very troublesome, but his work was done so he walked off into the sunset, his dress fluttering in the breeze.

April Fools indeed…

A/N: Shikamaru is so evil… Insert evil smile here In case you don't quite get it, he knew what was going on pretty early on. That's Shika, always like 30 steps ahead. Well, what do you expect with an IQ of over 200. He's my favorite character of the show. Funnily enough, I finished this while eating at Red Robin yesterday. I was sick a few days ago, and I still am a bit, but apparently that got me to write so hopefully I made somebody happy by writing this. …I successfully made it from being OOC to IC! Yes! Score one for me!

**Read Here:**

If anybody draws me fanart I will not only love you forever, but write you a one-shot of your choice as long as I know the series. Also, I will write almost any pairings, but there are a few that I hate so I won't write those. But they're very few. It's just the few I loathe. I don't care about the quality, just do your best ok?

Also, I myself will be trying to draw some fanart for this. I'll post in my profile where you can find it when I post it onto the internet. It'll be most likely at my deviant art account (which is my website).

……

Phew that was a lot.

Please review!


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